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As families evolve beyond the traditional nuclear mould, the idea of what it means to be a sibling is changing. Step-siblings, adopted siblings, foster siblings—even donor-conceived or surrogacy-linked siblings—are becoming part of the modern Indian family. In the most recent fiscal year (FY 2024-25), India saw a record number of child adoptions, with 4,515 children finding families, according to the PIB. This includes 4,155 domestic adoptions, indicating a positive trend in acceptance of legal adoption within the country. This adoption number is reportedly the highest since the 2015-16 period.
The actual number—counting informal and intra-family adoptions—is believed to be significantly higher. Add to this the rise in remarriages and co-parenting setups, and the sibling equation begins to resemble a carefully negotiated space. “Today, blended and adoptive families are increasingly common, but that doesn’t mean the journey is easy,” says therapist Deepti Chandy and COO, Anna Chandy & Associates.
Challenging Traditional Dynamics
- Constant questions like “Are you real siblings?” “Is that your stepbrother or half-brother?”—these casual questions, often born out of ignorance rather than malice, leave scars.
- Children in blended or adoptive families may be vying for reassurance.
- Parents sometimes try too hard, over-nurturing one child, being extra cautious, or using labels like ‘real’ or ‘step,’ which can highlight differences.
Therapist Deepti Chandy notes that in blended families, children are often trying to find their place in a new emotional and relational structure. Rivalry in these cases may stem not just from typical developmental stages but also from feelings of insecurity, belonging, or perceived favouritism.
The Power of Shared Rituals
In a blended family with (step) siblings of four, Raell Padamsee reflects on the journey growing up as fun, with strong bonding among us. “All of us have been involved in the creative arts in some form. My older brother Ranjit worked in film, television, and theatre abroad; Shahzan has done film and a bit of theatre; and I’ve done a lot of theatre myself. So, everyone would show up—not just to support, but to be together. That spirit came largely from my father, who was very intentional about making our blended family feel like one unit.”
Based between Mumbai and New York, the family includes four siblings—Ranjit, Quasar, Shahzan, and Raell—each with a significant age gap between them. “Once we all reached a certain age, there was a deep sense of connection and common ground that brought us close,” Raell adds. “My father, in particular, nurtured that bond in a very thoughtful way. For instance, on his birthday, he made it a point to celebrate with his children—just the kids and him—because he cherished that dedicated time with us.”
Reframing Family Narratives
Chandy recalls a case where the mother, who remarried, worked closely with her new husband to build a relationship with her children. “Instead of trying to assume the role of a parent immediately, he spent time simply being present—showing up, listening, creating memories. Over time, the children began to trust him. Today, they sometimes go to him first when they’re struggling. That trust was built, intentionally and patiently.”
Chandy highlights the importance of reframing family narratives. “A helpful approach is to be open about the family’s origin story, not in a clinical way, but with honesty and warmth. ‘This is how we became a family, and we chose to be one.’ That framing can be incredibly affirming.”
The Shift in Language and Perception
Young adults, especially in urban and semi-urban India, are beginning to adopt language that reflects emotional connection over biological fact. The goal is to foster shared experiences that aren’t forced but feel natural and inclusive. In households shaped by adoption or remarriage, it’s not uncommon for children to quietly wonder love, care and belonging.
Chandy notes that the emphasis on ‘khoon ka rishta’—that blood ties are paramount, that they hold more weight than any other bond—reveals a deeper, collective discomfort with kinship that doesn’t follow a genetic pattern. “It’s not unique to India, though the cultural language here makes it more visible,” she tells. “These subtle reminders can unintentionally reinforce the idea that love or belonging is conditional, which can be very isolating for adopted or stepchildren.”
Therapy and Family Support
Family therapy, especially in adoptive or remarried households, creates a safe zone where members get the chance to speak, be heard, and feel validated. “It can be vital for children, especially in blended setups, where emotions can easily go unspoken or misunderstood.”
Chandy emphasizes the importance of open communication and counseling in these families. “It’s not just about the child, but as a family unit. By working together, they can navigate the complexities of blended family dynamics and build a strong, supportive network.”
| Family Structure | Challenges | Solutions |
|---|---|---|
| Blended families with adopted siblings | Constant questions, sibling rivalry, reassurance needs | Shared rituals, open communication, reframing family narratives |
| Remarried families with biological and adopted children | Adjusting to new roles, building trust, emotional security | Counseling, therapy, and open communication |
Conclusion
In modern India, the concept of sibling relationships is evolving. With a record number of child adoptions and a rise in remarriages and co-parenting setups, families are becoming more diverse and complex. While challenges arise, the key to success lies in embracing shared rituals, open communication, and reframing family narratives.
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