Breaking Free from the Burden of Isolation

In a world where individuality is celebrated, parenting can feel like an overwhelming challenge. As a father, I was expected to be everything for my children: caretaker, teacher, provider, protector, disciplinarian, entertainer. So that’s what I did, alone, with little to no outside support. However, I now recognize that parenting looks profoundly different outside Western ways.

Parenting in Circle: A Community-Based Approach

In Indigenous cultures, parenting is not an isolated task, but a shared responsibility woven into the community, kinship, and the land itself. Children are not seen as possessions, but as sacred beings who belong to a wider circle of care. This approach is what I mean by “parenting in circle.” It’s a sacred structure that guides children not just to survive, but to thrive for all generations to come.

Relational Practice, Not Private Task

Western parenting often takes place within a nuclear family, with parents being the sole caregivers. I, on the other hand, took on the role of a single “part-time” parent, eager to face a challenge that glorified self-sufficiency. However, this approach wore me down as a caregiver and severed me from the network that could have sustained me and my children.

Indigenous Parenting Traditions

Let’s take a look at some traditional Indigenous ways of parenting:

• 1. Inuit Wisdom: Teaching Through Stories and Questions
• 2. Haudenosaunee Clan Mothers: Matrilineal Caregiving
• 3. Diné (Navajo): Hózhó and the Sacred Order of Life

These Traditional Approaches Foster Interdependence

In these Indigenous cultures, parenting is deeply relational, recognizing that children thrive when held in a web of love, not just by parents. This is in contrast to the Western model, which emphasizes independence over interdependence, control over connection, productivity over presence, and possession over relationship. Consequences of the Western Model
The Western model of parenting has been shaped by colonial, capitalist, and patriarchal systems that perpetuate these values. These systems have led to the erosion of Indigenous parenting traditions and the creation of inter-generational traumas. Revitalizing Indigenous Parenting Practices
Despite the challenges, many Indigenous families are reclaiming their teachings through parenting workshops, land-based education, language revitalization, and cultural resurgence. Communities are remembering what was always there, and new movements are emerging. Lessons from Indigenous Parenting
While we can’t co-opt traditional Indigenous parenting methods, we can learn from them. We can honor Indigenous traditions by listening, supporting Indigenous sovereignty, and reshaping our own families in a way that’s responsive to our needs. A Call to Action You can start by:

1. Building your circle: Ask yourself, who helps raise your children? Who could? Reach out. Share the load.
2. Choosing connection over control: Instead of punishment, try conversation. Ask questions. Offer guidance.
3. Honoring the knowledge: Indigenous wisdom isn’t a life hack—it’s a worldview. Respect it, and support those who carry it.

Creating a Stronger Circle As I reflect on my own journey, I’ve come to realize that taking my children onto the land and showing them how to be respectful and mindful has been a game-changer. Reconnecting with my extended family has also been a difficult but rewarding path. Our own circle is getting stronger with each passing day, and it will continue to grow regardless of setbacks we face as a family.