While the news of expecting a baby can be a thrilling moment, it also opens the door to a multitude of unsolicited questions and unwanted advice from loved ones. However, this can sometimes be overwhelming and stressful for the expecting parents. To avoid this, some expectant parents prefer to keep their pregnancy private and maintain a level of personal space during this special time. “Expecting parents often receive unsolicited questions and advice, which can be stressful and overwhelming,” says Emily Mudge, licensed clinical social worker at Psychology Partners Group. “They might feel that their privacy and autonomy are being compromised. As a result, they may choose to keep certain aspects of their pregnancy private to maintain their mental and emotional well-being.”
Some Expecting Parents Might Feel Like They’re Under a Microscope
One expecting mother realized that sharing her pregnancy journey with her mother-in-law might not be the best option, given her past experiences. However, as the pregnancy progressed, she started to doubt her decision and sought opinions from experts. “For many expectant parents, sharing their pregnancy journey with the world can feel like an obligation, rather than a choice,” says Dr. Lilit Ayrapetyan, licensed clinical psychologist. “It can be overwhelming, especially when they feel like they’re under a microscope. This constant scrutiny can lead to anxiety, stress, and feelings of vulnerability.”
The Benefits of Keeping a Pregnancy More Private
Keeping the pregnancy more private can have several benefits for expecting parents. Firstly, it allows them to process their own feelings without external pressure or judgment. “This approach can reduce anxiety triggered by others’ opinions and protect the parents’ autonomy in making decisions about their pregnancy and parenting,” says Dr. Ayrapetyan. It also facilitates more authentic bonding with their partner and developing baby. “By keeping their pregnancy private, expectant parents can create space for themselves and their partner to connect on a deeper level, without the added pressure of external expectations,” says Emily Mudge. Setting Boundaries with Loved Ones
However, setting boundaries with loved ones can be challenging, especially when they’re used to having control over the situation. “It’s essential to approach the conversation with your loved ones from a place of love and understanding,” says Emily Mudge. “Use clear and direct language to explain your reasons for wanting to maintain your privacy, and acknowledge their well-meaning intent.”
For some, framing privacy needs in terms of self-care rather than exclusion can be more effective. “Use ‘I’ statements, such as ‘I’m finding I need more quiet time during this transition,’ rather than statements that might sound accusatory,” suggests Dr. “Offering alternative ways to connect that feel comfortable for you can also help soften the message.”
| Boundary Setting Tips | Description |
|---|---|
| Be Clear and Direct | Use straightforward language to communicate your boundaries and needs |
| Use ‘I’ Statements | Frame your needs in terms of self-care, rather than exclusion |
| Offer Alternative Options | Provide alternative ways to connect that feel comfortable for you |
| Be Consistent | Reinforce your boundaries consistently, without extensive justification |
Dr. Ayrapetyan also emphasizes the importance of consistency when reinforcing boundaries. “When boundaries are violated, respond with calm, brief reminders of your needs without extensive justification. Creating a simple script like ‘We’re not sharing those details right now, but we appreciate your interest’ can help in repetitive situations.”
“If you feel yourself slipping into a depression or feeling socially isolated, there are things you can do that might add value and meaning to your life,” says Emily Mudge. “Prioritize your self-care regimen by doing things that make you feel good and bring you joy. Should you still be experiencing significant distress, contact a licensed mental health professional for professional support.”
Many readers supported the woman’s decision to keep her pregnancy more private, while others blamed the expectant mother for not sharing her experience. However, the original poster updated the readers in a comment, sharing her own journey and the lessons she learned along the way.
